andsuddenlydynamite: ([injured] DON'T TOUCH THE FACE!)
andsuddenlydynamite ([personal profile] andsuddenlydynamite) wrote2010-07-28 10:55 pm
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When Hayato found himself back in his world, alone, he naturally had written off what happened at the manor as a dream... but at the same time... he couldn’t help but feel the pangs of heartbreak. He felt stupid for falling for something that had to have been a dream.... but the idea of having someone that loved him for just being him... it... it was too good to be true... but didn’t matter now. He had to push his feelings aside. His future self had failed the Tenth, now he was in the future with his boss to try to prevent this from happening. But it wasn’t easy, the Vongola were being hunted for their Vongola rings by the Millefiore family. While he didn't want to admit it... he was scared. He had already failed the Tenth once, he was in this strange foreign world where there was a price on his head, and to top it all off he had lost the boy who loved him.... naturally his mood had taken a SPECIAL turn south. He had already lashed out on Yamamoto a few times. Now him and the baseball idiot were screwed into an all knew lifetime because he lost his temper. One of the Millefiore generals had engaged them in a fight, Yamamoto was down, and now Hayato was being toyed with by Gamma. The man had him pinned on the ground, stepping on his hand until their was a sickening crack. Hayato screamed in agony but refused to say a word... he would gladly die for his boss’s sake. This was all his fault to begin with. If he hadn’t acted out... if his future self hadn’t failed his boss....
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] I believe the world is burning)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-09-24 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
"I don't mind at all", as long as the wounds got taken care off he was satisfied right now.
Yes, these bandages definitely needed to be changed. Ewww. Ryuutaro removes them as well. Seeing the remnants of the wounds underneath he pauses for a moment. How much more of such wounds was he going to see from now on?
Ryuutaro brushes the thought aside and reaches out for fresh bandages, finishing his work on Hayato.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] I believe the world is burning)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-09-29 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
"It is. It's just like the Author to make you go through something twice though..."

For a moment he lets Hayato caress his cheek, saying nothing. His face was serious. These wounds... he was going to see more wounds in the future. Many, many more, he could be sure of it. It was useless to get shaky about it. The fortune-teller closes his eyes for a moment and as he opens them again, he seems a bit stronger, a bit tougher again.

"But we're away from her now."
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] So. Unimpressed.)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-09-30 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro didn't know how to feel. 'Don't try to get used to this'... but what else was he supposed to do? What else could he do? He didn't want to feel this way all the time.
Ryuutaro looked off to the side for a moment before facing Hayato again.
"I've been spending the past year getting used to these things already. And now that we're gone from the Manor and I know that things will stay as they are, I do want to adapt to it. I've seen so much already, there is no going back anymore."
He felt a bitter about it. He, who was supposed to know much more than an ordinary human ever would, had found out how horrible knowledge could be.
He knew he could not unsee any of what he saw and felt. Even if he was to return to his world, he would not be able to go on the same way. He was too far gone.
"Changing does not necessarily equal losing yourself. I will be fine."
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] It's going down)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-01 10:43 pm (UTC)(link)
For once Ryuutaro couldn't just melt into Hayato's embrace like he usually would. A sort of tenseness just wouldn't leave his body. He wanted to be cut out for this world so badly, but he knew he wasn't. And now Hayato practically told him to stay a stranger to the place, at least it felt like it.
"If I'm honest, I don't know if I can. But I won't lose myself in any of this, you can be sure I won't."
What Ryuutaro wanted was to make this world his own, get on top again. He needed to, it was his destiny. And for that he'd have to get used to this. He felt as if someone like him who would always stare in shock at seeing too much blood, someone like he was now, would never be respected in a world like this.
Even if Ryuutaro didn't care overly much what people thought of him, that was only when he had some basis of respect and admiration around him.
He'd always put so much effort and hard work into reaching what he wanted, this just needed to continue now.
He loved Hayato more than anything, he knew he would stay with him no matter what, but he couldn't live being 'just' at his side, only a sort of addition to the other boy. He needed to have a name for himself or else he wouldn't have enough breathing space.

"Hayato...? You're starting to somewhat crush me if you hold me so tightly."
Ryuutaro felt odd saying this, but he couldn't hold back. Even if he did his best to make his voice sound light, he felt lost.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] Goodbye my friend)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-02 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro didn't know how to act for once. He could feel how he had just hurt Hayato, he could feel how much things weren't alright for neither of them. They hadn't felt that apart for ages now.
He could see how fake that smile was. Ryuutaro shook his head.

"No. I'm staying here with you." In this library, this world, whatever this should be seen as. For a moment Ryuutaro let those words just float through the room, before going on like usually.

"It's not like I'd need entertainment all the time, really. I like when it's quiet."
And he was most definitely not going to leave if he wasn't forced to.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] Alone with the future)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-04 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro didn't even go to the effort to try starting to read again. It seemed pointless. He wouldn't be able to focus on anything theoretical at this point. There was just so much distance between them... Distance. Ryuutaro once wouldn't have minded. Once. How long was that ago now?
The boy leaned against a bookshelf, not knowing what to do now. Slowly he took out Pisces, letting his fingers run over the familiar shape.
He briefly wondered if it would give him an escape to just get inside his Distortion Drive and enjoy the familiar nothingness, but it was silly. He couldn't run and hide.

For around half-an-hour he said nothing, just sat there listening to pointless thoughts chase each other through his head. When he decided to speak it was without thinking things through further first.
"I'm not the same person anymore who you met back then in the space ship... Isn't it only natural that I won't be the same as now anymore in the future?"
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] The determination. All of it.)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-04 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
But what?
Ryuutaro got to his feed immediately, walking over as he was wordlessly told to.
So what now? What exactly would he hear or not hear? The boy tilted his head, wordlessly asking for the reason.
Anything to make them actually understand each other again would be most appreciated right now.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] So unsure about this)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-05 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro listened silently and even after Hayato had ended he didn't say anything for a while.
Even if had already known some specific scenes from Hayato's past, this was a part he'd mostly been unknowing off until now.
Even if he'd thought about this period of Hayato's life it was just different to hear him talk about it.

"It's not that I think your world is bad...", even if yes, he did hate it, from the moment he arrived. It was more that Ryuutaro had realized his world was horribly... naive. It hurt to think like that, especially with all the pain he'd gone through in the place, all the pain everyone had felt...

And Ryuutaro did understand. He remembered this moment when he arrived all-too-well. When he would've let Yamamoto die without any second thoughts, if there had been any assurance Gamma would start on him.
Not that he ever had been a nice, caring person to start with, but at this point he had been scaring himself.
deeplymeaningless: ([smile] Walk away in cherry rain)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-08 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro blinked in surprise. That was unexpected. He understood that Hayato wanted to escape the awkwardness and show him what there was to hold on for, but to go for something major like a piano of all things? It caught him by surprise.
For a short moment he was unable to speak and then he smiled a faint little smile.

"It will. Of course, it will. There is hardly any need to stutter about such a thing, is there?"
He paused. It was difficult. He didn't just want to leave the original subject like that, but he was sure continuing would only end painfulness. Maybe he should just accept Hayato's escape.
"And even without that... Starting over new like this is a fascinating thought. How many people can say of themselves to have just changed worlds like this?"
deeplymeaningless: ([whut] I don't even wanna know)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-10 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro nodded again, playing around with his fan a bit.
"I never quite understood how school is mandatory in other worlds...", he commented on the first part, because it had been something that had been confusing him from the very start at the Manor. Wherever he got people were surprised about him having a profession and actually working, while to him it was perfectly normal.
And then it hit him.
"Wait... I hope you and your world realize though, that I won't be going there at all?"
The thought alone seemed just plain ridiculous to him. He was able to read and write and educated in his chosen way of working, what more did he need?

The good thing though was that they were drifting back into normal conversations, away from that distance, that gap between them.
deeplymeaningless: ([Smirk] Your arrogance will be your doom)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-12 09:52 pm (UTC)(link)
"I don't see why I would, but then again, even I can't predict all possible situations in the future. I've never even entered a public school, so maybe I've missed out on something important. I consider it unlikely."
Yes, even if school had been mandatory in Beyblade world, Ryuutaro would've probably gotten a private teacher. He used to be a spoiled kid like that.

And he actually didn't know about the things taught in school. He knew writing and reading and magic, it was all he needed. Maths outside of beyblade physics for example was something that he had remained completely oblivious of in his life. He'd just never needed these things.
deeplymeaningless: ([other] He wants these shoes.)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-10-14 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
It was true, Ryuutaro's interest in foreign cultures was extremely low, an exception only made for the regional fortune-telling methods.
Italian... It always sounded so foreign to Ryuutaro's ears, he knew he'd be embarrassing himself a lot trying to speak it. Reading a menu was already hard enough.
But then again, it had always been bothering how he couldn't understand a word of the Italian things Hayato said sometimes. Having at least a basic grasp on the language would make him less of an outsider to Hayato's origin.

"I suppose knowing the essentials of your language would be convenient.."
If he doesn't embarrass himself trying. Which he would. The dark, dark side of this. Maybe understand would be enough?

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