andsuddenlydynamite: ([injured] DON'T TOUCH THE FACE!)
andsuddenlydynamite ([personal profile] andsuddenlydynamite) wrote2010-07-28 10:55 pm
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When Hayato found himself back in his world, alone, he naturally had written off what happened at the manor as a dream... but at the same time... he couldn’t help but feel the pangs of heartbreak. He felt stupid for falling for something that had to have been a dream.... but the idea of having someone that loved him for just being him... it... it was too good to be true... but didn’t matter now. He had to push his feelings aside. His future self had failed the Tenth, now he was in the future with his boss to try to prevent this from happening. But it wasn’t easy, the Vongola were being hunted for their Vongola rings by the Millefiore family. While he didn't want to admit it... he was scared. He had already failed the Tenth once, he was in this strange foreign world where there was a price on his head, and to top it all off he had lost the boy who loved him.... naturally his mood had taken a SPECIAL turn south. He had already lashed out on Yamamoto a few times. Now him and the baseball idiot were screwed into an all knew lifetime because he lost his temper. One of the Millefiore generals had engaged them in a fight, Yamamoto was down, and now Hayato was being toyed with by Gamma. The man had him pinned on the ground, stepping on his hand until their was a sickening crack. Hayato screamed in agony but refused to say a word... he would gladly die for his boss’s sake. This was all his fault to begin with. If he hadn’t acted out... if his future self hadn’t failed his boss....
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] [smile] True believer)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-21 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro nodded.
"That sounds fine... It's a calming place."

Staying out of Hibari's way was something he'd intend to do anyway, not because he particulary respected him, but simply because he was one of those people.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] I believe the world is burning)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-22 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro tilted his head in slight confusion. He wasn't used to having space between them anymore. Especially with the position Hayato had brought himself in, this kind of self-hug.

"I'm not sure", he replied with a small smile of his own, "I don't feel like sleeping, but I probably should get some rest as well."

He looked Hayato's position over again. It was not like it felt wrong to sit without closeness... Ryuutaro really liked being close to Hayato, but he enjoyed some private space, too. But the way Hayato looked, the way this happened was more than just wrong.

"Is there a particular reason, you're over there?"
deeplymeaningless: (A kind of sadness)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-23 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
"Rest well...", Ryuutaro replied silently, watching Hayato's back for a moment.
He didn't want to comment on it again. Hayato could have his space as well after all and sometimes Ryuutaro was just too proud to always come after him.
He still couldn't help feeling unwell.
He sighed and leaned back a bit. He didn't want to sleep just yet, there was so much running through his head.

They'd be fine. Everything would be alright. And yet he just felt a little bit like crying.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] It's going down)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-23 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro noticed that movement and his pride started melting away again. In this world Hayato was all he had and he just didn't seem alright right now.
This wasn't alright.

He softly placed his hand on Hayato's shoulder, leaning over him a bit.
"What's wrong...?"

He wanted nothing more than just lay down next to Hayato already, but he stopped himself. There had to be reasons for all of this. He wanted to hear them.
deeplymeaningless: (Cotton Candy Cutie)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-24 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro raised an eyebrow.
"I have to humbly remark, that no, I don't think that's all", he smiled a bit. This time his speech pattern wasn't intend to bring distance like it usually did. Instead it was more pronounced like an inside joke and his smile was honest, maybe a bit sceptical.

When Hayato was wrapping his arms around his stomach, there was no way he was alright.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] [other] My I lay you down?)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-25 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, that was some amazing change of topic here. Ryuutaro understood though. A part of him wanted to go on and on asking, but then he wondered what this would be like if their roles were reversed. He wouldn't like to be pushed for things, so he shouldn't do it to Hayato. Hayato was really the only person to ever get him to be this considerate.

Instead he smiled a small and very soft smile. "I love you, too."
It was good to exchange these words, but it still didn't feel quite alright. Ryuutaro resisted biting his lip and instead leaned down further until his hair was almost - or maybe - touching Hayato's face.
"But I wouldn't just agree with your first statement. I decide what I need to worry about. But if you don't want to tell me, that's fine..."
Or something similar to fine. Acceptable, maybe.
deeplymeaningless: ([smile] Favourite FA ever)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-25 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
The only thing Hayato was being stupid with was saying this, it was something Ryuutaro was sure on.
"It's not hell, it's never been hell... Just unpleasant, that's all", Ryuutaro smirked a very small bit.

Maybe more than that, but it was true, he's had worse. The cell. Reiji. ... Hayato's death. That. That had been hell.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] Touché)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-25 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
And that was when Ryuutaro finally gave in and just reached out to pull Hayato close. Respecting Hayato's space was one thing, but this had turned into another. He could see how they were just overthinking again.

They'd be rich if they'd gotten paid for everytime they told each other it was nothing.

"Then why don't you just sleep...?", he whispered against Hayato's chest, sounding a tiny bit teasing even.
deeplymeaningless: (Default)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-26 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro blinked in complete confusion.

"Why wouldn't it be?", he asked, genuinely puzzled.
They'd been with each other this long, Hayato should know that he could always touch him, that it was the privilege reserved for him.
Ryuutaro leaned against Hayato some more, proving it. This was okay. It took them a long way to get here, but it was alright. And very calming.
deeplymeaningless: ([hurt] Everywaiting airports)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-26 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
And there it was... this silent voice, those apologies. Something Ryuutaro had both - feared and waited for.

He leaned against Hayato and closed his eyes, letting him talk. Hayato had been right in a way. He was being stupid, just so stupid.
Ryuutaro couldn't deny how much it had hurt him as Hayato locked himself in, but still... Still. He knew it had been necessary. As angry as he was on a personal level, he could accept it.

"No...", he said as Hayato finished, silently but still firmly, "You haven't. It hurt... but that's alright in this situation" - and only in this situation. If less was at risk he wouldn't be this forgiving- "And there is no reason for me to not want you close..."

Ryuutaro reached up and brushed his hand through Hayato's hair.

"You can be as close as you want, I won't mind..."

And even if Hayato filled up all of his space, even if he could see, feel, hear and breath nothing else, that would be fine. Because that was where he belonged, where both of them belonged. In whatever world, whatever time.
The thought made the pain a lot easier to stand.
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] Look right into your heart)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-26 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
And the worst was Ryuutaro didn't even know why. From the beginning on, he didn't know why he kept coming back for Hayato again and again and again. But he would do it. Whenever Hayato'd turn away, he'd call him back.
If anything, he'd thought that anybody close to him would have to fight for him. But here he was, being the one to do all these things. Even willing to accept hurt from Hayato.
Ryuutaro couldn't decide if it was weak or strong. To his self from before Battle Bladers, before meeting Hayato, it would've been weak. But now he wasn't sure anymore. Not giving up and holding on like this was not weak at all.

"I needed air back then...."

Ryuutaro looked up into Hayato's eyes.

"If you want to do all those things for me, then do them. When I turn away, pull me back. When I'm far away, come running for me. "
He couldn't believe he just said that, practically told Hayato to keep him chained to him.
But why should he be the only one to always come chasing?
deeplymeaningless: ([serious] [smile] True believer)

[personal profile] deeplymeaningless 2011-11-27 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
Ryuutaro knew Hayato had understood and it was terrifying for a moment. Right now he was so fragile, offering Hayato this much... It didn't make any real difference though. He had just spoken something that he'd known for some time already.
It still scared him.
But then that kiss came to reassure him. Ryuutaro's eyes fluttered closed in the blink of an eye and he returned the kiss. It had been what he always wanted though, hadn't it? For Hayato to fight for him... If he wanted that, he had to allow it. And it felt alright.
He could feel how Hayato felt about this, the way he was capturing his lips...

When the kiss was over, Ryuutaro took his time to complete the moment of opening his eyes, savouring the feeling of having those words spoken and understood. It was odd how they were just so scared of each other and yet could be together like this. Now more than ever Ryuutaro was sure that it was a good choice to stay here. What he had now, what they shared now, it was nothing he could ever hope to find anywhere else.

"I will be taking good care of it."
He smiled softly and leaned up against, placing a short kiss on Hayato's lips.
"And I expect the same of you..."
Because in his way, he was doing the same... Giving Hayato his everything, all there was to give.

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