andsuddenlydynamite | (no subject)

Hayato blushed and laughed a little at Ryuutaro's words.

"After all the shit I put him through? I probably aged him 20 years faster... I was a real big mess back then."

He sighed again, and happily accepted Ryuutaro's hand. lacing his fingers together. Just in time for their drinks to arrive, and while the tea may taste quite different being of Italian origin, it wasn't too bad.

"Maybe he's here! I could introduce you... to the Ninth... not Carlo. I don't really know what happened to Carlo after..."

Ryuutaro could imagine Hayato being a lot of trouble. He must've been so much worse than when they met and yet Ryuutaro sometimes felt like he was stuck on a roller-coaster back in the day.

"If the oppurunity comes up, I'd be honoured."

He took a sip of that tea. He was not really picky with tea (or food in general - after all he liked to live as if he was rich but in reality his life was 'take what you can get'), so this was perfectly fine with him, he seemed content.

Hayato smiled and continued with his drink,

"Yeah, I'll find a ride and get us over there." He pauses to think for a moment, "I should... probably do somethin' about my hair though. I kinda stick out, I used to get a lot of flack for bein' an 'albino'... among other things." Which was, kind of inaccurate. He clearly had pigment... his eyes were green after all, and his hair looked more grey than pure white in the winter when he wasn't outside as much. Well, maybe it wasn't completely inaccurate either. He had to be some sort of albino mutation at least. He was far paler than the most people on the island with their olive complexion, and his hair was definitely was an unusual color for his age. Still, albino was probably one of the least offensive terms that was used on him, but it was still something that made him easily identifiable.

"It would suck if someone I pissed off back then recognized me."

Then again, as long as he was with Ryuutaro he was going to stick out. Someone from Japan was never a good sign on an island run by the mob. It meant business with Yakuza was going on... and that always meant something was going to go sour for someone. Luckily they were young... and Ryuutaro could easily pass off as girl so long as he didn't talk. Gokudera could play it like they were tourists- as long as no one recognized him. That would be key.

"I could dye it black with somethin' temporary... I'd look more Japanese. We could pass off as tourists until we got to the Ninth's and I could wash it out."

Because as much hell as he caught for it... he knew it was a trait he inherited from his mother, and he'd be damned in hell before he would ever act ashamed of it.

Ryuutaro said nothing for a moment, as he imagined Hayato with black hair. It was pretty hard, even the other versions of Hayato he'd met always had this exact hair-colour and hairstyle after all.

"That sounds like an acceptable idea. You should be careful though, darker colors are hard to wash out of brighter ones. I hate to say this, but the lower the quality of the color is, the easier it's to be washed out. I don't imagine many people to get suspicious over hair-colours anyway."

Not like Ryuutaro had ever colored his hair or even thought about it, but somehow being informed about this went along with his almost professional knowledge of make-up. It seemed natural to him.

Hayato nodded, he figured Ryuutaro would know better than he would. The teen took another sip of his drink mulling the decision over a little more, not really paying attention as the door to the little joint opened. The thing that shakes Gokudera from his thoughts is the sudden silence that overtook the the joint. The teen looked up at the entrance and his eyes widen... of all the worst possible outcomes...

There didn't seem to be anything particularly odd about the group now standing in the doorway... at least considering where they were. Five men all well dressed in suits. The one in the middle of the group whispers to the man to his right who quickly and quietly orders two of the other men to secure a table. It was clear that this was someone very important, and very much in charge.

...and shares the same dull-green eyes, that seem to be set in a permanent state of displeasure.

Hayato quickly reached into his pocket, shoved a wad of cash on the table and leaned over to Ryuutaro so whisper in his ear.

"We gotta go. Don't say anything, and keep your head down."

Hayato was clearly put on edge by this new arrival. He did not like having to just blatantly give Ryuutaro an order, but right now it was necessary. He slipped his arm around Ryuutaro to get him to move swiftly enough so that they could blend into the rest of the crowd leaving. They're almost out, but they have to squeeze by the man in charge... unfortunately the man seems to notice them and turns to give a cold, stern glare at Hayato.

"E qui ho pensato che siete stati morti negli ultimi sette anni." ((And here I thought you've been dead these past seven years.))

Dammit. The teen growled, and looked up at the man. The resemblance is mostly difficult to see. Hayato had taken after his mother, blessed with her softer features. The only noticeable resemblance was the scowl, the way their eyebrows knit together so tightly over the half-mast dull green eyes. Hayato knew he would have to respond, but refused to address the man in Italian. He hated him so much... he was going to make this as hard for him as possible.

"Bullshit, you only wish I was dead."

While usually Ryuutaro would immediately question being ordered around like that and not obey without half-an-hour of discussion, he had come to trust Hayato when it came to their safety and learned to obey such orders immediately and without any sort question at all.

He looked at the man in the doorway though, as unsuspiciously as he could. He knew he reminded him of somebody, but the thought seemed to ridiculous and unlikely, he didn't bother finishing it. He could ask Hayato about this later.

And then the man talks and while Ryuutaro could not understand a single word he felt that he knew Hayato.
And then Hayato's reply...
Now Ryuutaro had to take another wary closer look at the man's face.
No, it was just silly, why would---?
But he knew about fate and its odd ways better than anybody else.
It seemed to match and the tension Hayato was radiating...

Ryuutaro would say nothing now, but he felt himself getting really nervous as well.

A pair of men come behind them and grab their upper arms. Hayato quickly jerks his arm out of the grip causing the second man to free Ryuutaro to go for a weapon. Hayato responds by reaching for his own, however Hayato's father raises his hand and his subordinate pauses and backs down.

Gokudera hisses something at the two men in Italian and holds Ryuutaro closer. Then he turns his attention back to his father, still refusing to speak to him in Italian.

"What the fuck do you want? I'm done with you."

"Tu sei mio figlio. E 'stato un po'. Dovremmo parlare." ((*You're my son. It's been a while. We should talk.))

The man holds his arm to the car out side. Gokudera growls and looks around. Out numbered, and in a space like this dynamite would be risky. He takes a deep shaky breath to keep his temper in check and leans in very close to whisper in Ryuutaro's ear.

"I'm sorry Bambino, we gotta go with him."

Ryuutaro nodded. It looked like they had no choice at all. He did not exactly see why Hayato felt like he had to apologize for it though. It was not his fault at all. But this was not the time to have another of those conversations.

So he just let his hand run over Hayato's arm unsuspectibly and very shortly, trying to reassure him even if he had no idea what would be reassuring and how this would end.

Hayato's father looks at Ryuutaro, assuming he's a she, then turns back to Hayato.

"Chi è?" ((*who's she?))

Hayato just growled at his father and hissed out his response bitterly. The situation was dangerous enough as it is, he couldn't bring in Ryuutaro's gender into this, not when he had the disadvantage. "None of your fucking business!"

His father sighed and lead them out to the limo out front. Hayato kept Ryuutaro protectively close as they got in, obviously letting his boyfriend have the window seat in case he needed air. His Father sat opposite of them, remaining stoic and quiet as two of his lackies sat next to him, while the other two were up front, driving.

The drive remained silent, Hayato simply leaned against Ryuutaro and looked out the window with a sour expression on his face. After about 20 minutes a large and lavish mansion estate comes into view. After a moment pausing at the main gates for a moment they are brought around front, and Hayato's father escorts them inside. The teen seems to calm down a bit, his utter hatred for the man before him quelled slightly by the curiosity about how his home changed over the years. Was his room still their like Ryuutaro's had been? What about the family pictures they took? Were they still where he remembered them? Did his father regret not looking for him? Maybe there was some excuse that he wanted to give him, maybe an apology! Of course he could never be forgiven, but to know that maybe he was worth an apology and that his father had regretted what he had done would feel... well, he didn't know how it would feel. But it was something he had been waiting for since he ran away. As much as he hated him... it was still his father.

The man turned around to regard the two teenagers, and finally gave in to his son's demand to speak Japanese. Though his Japanese was a long way off from Hayato's. His knowledge of the language was shaky, and he made no effort to conceal his accent at all.

"I have business to take care of. Meet me in my office in half an hour." And he turns and walks away with his men in tow, leaving the boys alone.

Ryuutaro looked around inside, trying to take as much of the information in as he could, if he was already here.
It was weird, he had never been interested in anything from the past, but when it came to Hayato it seemed very important.
There was just so much he needed to know to understand present and future as well and not knowing could be disastrous. It had gotten so much easier lately though, because they knew each other and their stories a lot better.

As Hayato's father finally left, Ryuutaro looked up at Hayato again, questioningly.
What now? Being here did not seem like exactly a good idea, but how much choice did they have?

At first the only thing Hayato wanted to do was slam his fist into the wall repeatedly as hard as he could and scream. Finding someone to beat the shit out of would have worked too.

But just seeing Ryuutaro look up at him like that, all the tension seemed to fall from his shoulders. He smiled a little and let his arm drape around Ryuutaro's shoulders in a more casual and relaxed gesture, rather than the protective way he had it before.

"We should be fine for a while. We can't leave yet but no one's gonna bother us. I guess, I could show you around."

'Should be' and 'for a while' did both not sound very reassuring, but Ryuutaro supposed that those were the best they could get. Ryuutaro didn't even know why he was this nervous, but all those stories he'd heard about Hayato's family certainly didn't help any.
He was doing well on keeping it under control this time though.

"I'd be honoured. And since you've seen my parent's house as well..."
He could not call it his 'home' and he was pretty sure the same could be said about Hayato and this place.

Hayato started walking down the halls, it was a very busy house. Maids bustled back and forth tending to things, Hayato's Father's men doing the same. Hayato and Ryuutaro got some stares but otherwise they weren't bothered.

"I can show you my room! I had a bunch of stupid junk laying around, but there are pictures and stuff. I was kind of a dumb shit as a kid though." He smiled at the thought of seeing his old room, his heartbeat quickened from the anticipation, "I wonder what it looks like now."

Hayato turned down a quieter hallway, and stopped before a door at the very end. He takes a deep breath and opens the door, and the excited little smile fades from his face. The room showed no evidence that a child had ever lived in it. Hayato stepped in and looked around.

"I-it's been all changed around..."

The bed was larger, something more adult and fitting of a guest room, as was all the furniture. The teen looked over at one of the shelves, hoping maybe one of his books may have made it there, but nothing. The books were pretty generic or were his father's. He took a glance around at the pictures, picking one up to look at. Nothing, he recognized the photo though. Bianchi, her mother and their father all stood together. Hayato's father's arm id obscured by the side of the frame, like he had his arm around someone else very small. Hayato was quick to disassemble the photo frame and pull out the picture, revealing one edge that had obviously been cut. The only sign that he had been in the picture was a little hand that clung to his father's pants. He just stared at the photo, unable to completely register what he was seeing.

It was like he had never existed.

For a moment Ryuutaro did nothing, because he knew there was nothing he could do. As arrogant as he might be, he knew when there were situations to which he did not have the solution.
He knew how this had to hurt Hayato, even if he could not understand on a personal basis.

Sometimes he wondered, why their lives had not just been switched. He had everything he never wanted and Hayato so desperately searched for. Meanwhile Hayato had been erased from his father's past - something Ryuutaro would've liked to see his own father do. At least he imagined it to be nice (it probably wouldn't actually be).

When Ryuutaro moved, breaking a tiny bit of the tension that hung thickly in the air doing so, he still did not say a word. Instead he moved his hand over Hayato's, a hand so much bigger than the one in the picture. He'd held the small hand and he'd hold this one now.
There was literally nothing he could do about what happened at this house, with this family, but he could remind Hayato it was past now. They had a whole future ahead and he was definitely not letting go.
Words would have done nothing in this situation, everything he could've said would've been shallow and hurtful.
'You don't understand!'
Ryuutaro could almost hear Hayato say it and that was right. He couldn't.
All he could do was stand next to Hayato and stay right there. Before trying to do other things he'd fail at, he'd just do this to the best of his abilities.

Ryuutaro looked at Hayato, his expression unreadable, but slightly empathetic, waiting for whatever Hayato decided to do. Cry or tear this building down... Ryuutaro was fine either way.

Hayato's jaw started to tremble and his eyes well up as he kept his gaze fixed on the picture. He holds it so hard that his knuckles turn white, and his hands start to shake.

"I hate him Ryuutaro... I-I hate him so much... b-but.."He takes a deep shaky breath no letting a single tear fall. He was a man, if he cried right now his father would win. He couldn't show how much he had hurt him, "I hate him... but I can't... h-he's still my father. I don't know... I don't know what to do..."

He felt so mixed up and confused. He hated his father, but at the same time hated himself for being unable to completely hate his father. It was like his father won somehow because of this. Why couldn't it just be easy? Why couldn't he just abandon his past? Why did it have to keep haunting him?

For once Ryuutaro wished he could understand how other people felt about their parents on a more emotional basis. When it came to this subject he and Hayato were just so far away.

"If you hate him that much... maybe it's best to not see him as your father anymore...", he said, rather quietly.

He just had no idea how any of this worked. But this man had done so much to Hayato, he didn't deserve the title of being his father.

He looked up at Ryuutaro, peeling his eyes away from the picture. If only it were that easy. He hated his father but it didn't change the fact that he was his father.

"I-if I could, don't you think I would have?" He drops the picture from his hands, "I.... i-i-it wasn't always like this... when I was kid... it wasn't so bad. He was busy... and there was the stuff with the food... but he was good to me... s-s-so why? Why did this? Why my mother? Why didn't he come after me when I ran away? What's wrong with me Ryuutaro?"

Edited 2012-01-22 01:01 (UTC)

Ryuutaro's eyes widened in shock for a moment. He wished he could tear this self-blame out of Hayato and punish the entire world for doing this to him. But that was impossible.

Instead he looked up at Hayato with a serious and sincere look, reaching his hands up to place them on Hayato's shoulders.

"Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you, Hayato, not more than there might be wrong with any average person."
Maybe he had a lot of problems... Maybe he was difficult to deal with. Maybe he could be scary, maybe he was different. But that didn't mean anything.
Not to Ryuutaro and that meant Hayato should believe him.

"There is nothing wrong with you, it's him who's wrong, wrong in so many ways."

Ryuutaro had an idea that Hayato couldn't believe that and it was unsettling. But he had to try, because this was how he honestly saw Hayato and this situation.

Hayato just shakes his head. Ryuutaro was wrong. It wasn't something he would usually do, just openly deny Ryuutaro of being right, but he didn't know. Parents and family were the one thing they could never see eye-to-eye on, because Ryuutaro didn't know what it was like to be tossed aside over and over for being who he was. He didn't know what his life on the streets was like. He didn't know what it was like knowing that if he died there would be no one to remember his name or mourn his death. Knowing that no matter how bad things got, or how hard it was to get by, there was no one to help him.

"If there wasn't something wrong with me then I wouldn't have been on the streets as long as I was."

Was it his heritage? Because he was a bastard? Because he played the piano? His temper? There were so many things he could think of, he just didn't understand what made him so bad that he wasn't worth anyone's effort. All he ever had in his life so far was the Vongola, Temari, and Ryuutaro. Briefly he would see his mother but he never told her anything. She might abandon him too.

Hayato just leans forward so that his head rests on Ryuutaro's shoulder, his hands wrapped around his middle. It wasn't because his stomach hurt, but rather he felt if he didn't he would just crumble and fall apart. He refused to do that now. He couldn't let his father win...

Ryuutaro shook his head slowly, but with a lot of force behind it. He felt himself reaching the point behind anger and sadness where he was just made of determination.

"That's not true."
He spoke just as slowly, just as strongly. Actually Ryuutaro had no idea where he took all this from, because seeing Hayato like this made him feel like breaking down as well. But right now that was not even an option.

"That's just not true. I rather believe in the entire world being wrong than accept these thoughts of yours as reality."
He meant every word of it. All the people of Italy, everyone... Their opinions meant literally nothing to him. Even if he could imagine what Hayato had to have been like back then, he refused to think that he would've hated him. Surely, that would've been the realistic option, but it wasn't as easy as that. This was fate.
Maybe all the cruel things they had gone to were fate as well, but that was worthless in comparison.
Hayato belonged with Ryuutaro and as it was now, Ryuutaro believed in him.

Hayato leaned forward a bit more, and moved his hands to Ryuutaro's Yukata clutching the fabric of his clothes tightly.

"Thanks."

It's clear that while he himself did not believe the sentiment, that it meant a lot to hear him say it. It took him a few minutes to get himself together before he finally pulls back. His expression is solemn and maybe a bit numb. He needed to fall back a bit to how he used to be for this. He needed to separate himself from his emotions a bit more and hide behind a wall of anger. It would be difficult with Ryuutaro with him, it was a side of himself he had never let the other see. Hopefully it wouldn't be too bad. It wouldn't be long. Just long enough for him to deal with his father.

"Let's just... get this over with."

Ryuutaro found that to be a very fitting choice of words. And the sooner they got over with it, the better it would be. Ryuutaro couldn't wait until they were out of here. Seeing Hayato like this was just way too hard to stand, especially related to the one topic they could not ever understand each other's point of view on.

He nodded. "Sounds like the best plan."

Hayato took Ryuutaro's hand and led him through the halls to his dad's office. Though much to his chagrin they are interrupted as a few vaguely familiar pair of thugs leaving from his father's office catch sight of Hayato. There's a moment of whispering before they make an effort or standing in front of the pair, smirking as they take in the sight of the silverette.

Hayato grits his teeth and separates his hand from Ryuutaro's, placing it on his shoulder to gently push him a few steps back. This was exactly what he was afraid of, people recognizing him. While he didn't remember who they were specifically, he could tell they were rather low on the totem pole mafia-wise... and that he had probably beat the everliving shit out of them before. Hopefully he could get around this pretty quick...

"Well, well, lookit what we got here. the little oriental half-breed."

The other man snickered at the comment, "I thought the cunt-eyed-Italian was dead."

He twitched a bit at the nickname... been a while since he had heard that. Now he remembered why he hated this place. He simply growled a bit at the men."Fuck off, I don't have time for you shit-heads."

Unfortunately they didn't seem willing to relent, instead turned their attention to Ryuutaro, "Oh look, you got yourself a little chink bitch too, just like your daddy."

And Hayato went rigid, his cheeks red from anger, and his hands balled up into fists so tightly his knuckles were turning white. But he didn't say anything. He didn't want to drag this out. He just wanted to leave, but they continued. One reached forward and pulled the corners of Hayato's eyes back, obviously making fun of his Asian heritage.

"But if you want to match you gotta make your eyes look more like this!"

The teen was quick to push the guy off him, sending him into the opposing wall hard. The other man grabbed Hayato by his shirt collar and nearly lifted him off his feet.

"Oi, you still want to try that shit with us, you little punk!?"

Hayato's expression didn't show any fear. Rather, it looked hardened. His eyes seemed to glaze over, his jaw set and stern. Looks like slipping back into his street mindset would be easier than he thought it would.

"Try that shit. I dare you. If I could beatthe shit out of you when I was twelve, think what I could do to you now."

Naturally, Ryuutaro didn't understand a word of what these people said, but he didn't need to. He could hear the way they talked, see their ugly faces and know everything this was about. He was disgusted.

He knew Hayato wanted him to stay out of this, but it was hard. Seeing these people talk to him, let alone touch him, was hard to stand.
They didn't understand, couldn't understand and should really learn to know their place.
Them shortly looking at him was only making his anger boil some more.

He shot the guys a glare as his hand instinctively reached for his launcher. Anything more and he wouldn't be able to hold himself back anymore, he was just so angry.

Hearing Ryuutaro moving behind him, he glanced over his shoulder. Unfortunately he also noticed the guy he threw back getting back to his feet and reaching for his own weapon in response to Ryuutaro. As much as Hayato knew Ryuutaro's bey was useful, when it came to speed it would take far less time for this guy too land a bullet in the boy he loved than it would to get his bey going. So still keeping his cool he addressed Ryuutaro briefly.

"Hey, I told you I got this, alright?"

Bringing his attention back to the man holding him up, he slowly raised his hands the grab onto his wrist and start to squeeze... hard.

"I'll break your wrists."

The man tried to withstand the pain for a while, but it didn't take long before he pushed Hayato back and away, rubbing the newly forming dark bruises on his wrists. Hayato stumbled back, but didn't drop his guard, instead situating himself between Ryuutaro and the two men, glaring at them.

The man looked up from his wrists and glared at Hayato for a moment before just spitting on the boy's face.

"You're not even worth the effort of pulling a trigger."

And they started to walk off, done with their 'fun' for the day

The teen simply glared after them as he brought up his hand to wipe the saliva from his cheek.