andsuddenlydynamite | (no subject)

For a moment Ryuutaro did nothing, because he knew there was nothing he could do. As arrogant as he might be, he knew when there were situations to which he did not have the solution.
He knew how this had to hurt Hayato, even if he could not understand on a personal basis.

Sometimes he wondered, why their lives had not just been switched. He had everything he never wanted and Hayato so desperately searched for. Meanwhile Hayato had been erased from his father's past - something Ryuutaro would've liked to see his own father do. At least he imagined it to be nice (it probably wouldn't actually be).

When Ryuutaro moved, breaking a tiny bit of the tension that hung thickly in the air doing so, he still did not say a word. Instead he moved his hand over Hayato's, a hand so much bigger than the one in the picture. He'd held the small hand and he'd hold this one now.
There was literally nothing he could do about what happened at this house, with this family, but he could remind Hayato it was past now. They had a whole future ahead and he was definitely not letting go.
Words would have done nothing in this situation, everything he could've said would've been shallow and hurtful.
'You don't understand!'
Ryuutaro could almost hear Hayato say it and that was right. He couldn't.
All he could do was stand next to Hayato and stay right there. Before trying to do other things he'd fail at, he'd just do this to the best of his abilities.

Ryuutaro looked at Hayato, his expression unreadable, but slightly empathetic, waiting for whatever Hayato decided to do. Cry or tear this building down... Ryuutaro was fine either way.

Hayato's jaw started to tremble and his eyes well up as he kept his gaze fixed on the picture. He holds it so hard that his knuckles turn white, and his hands start to shake.

"I hate him Ryuutaro... I-I hate him so much... b-but.."He takes a deep shaky breath no letting a single tear fall. He was a man, if he cried right now his father would win. He couldn't show how much he had hurt him, "I hate him... but I can't... h-he's still my father. I don't know... I don't know what to do..."

He felt so mixed up and confused. He hated his father, but at the same time hated himself for being unable to completely hate his father. It was like his father won somehow because of this. Why couldn't it just be easy? Why couldn't he just abandon his past? Why did it have to keep haunting him?

For once Ryuutaro wished he could understand how other people felt about their parents on a more emotional basis. When it came to this subject he and Hayato were just so far away.

"If you hate him that much... maybe it's best to not see him as your father anymore...", he said, rather quietly.

He just had no idea how any of this worked. But this man had done so much to Hayato, he didn't deserve the title of being his father.

He looked up at Ryuutaro, peeling his eyes away from the picture. If only it were that easy. He hated his father but it didn't change the fact that he was his father.

"I-if I could, don't you think I would have?" He drops the picture from his hands, "I.... i-i-it wasn't always like this... when I was kid... it wasn't so bad. He was busy... and there was the stuff with the food... but he was good to me... s-s-so why? Why did this? Why my mother? Why didn't he come after me when I ran away? What's wrong with me Ryuutaro?"

Edited 2012-01-22 01:01 (UTC)

Ryuutaro's eyes widened in shock for a moment. He wished he could tear this self-blame out of Hayato and punish the entire world for doing this to him. But that was impossible.

Instead he looked up at Hayato with a serious and sincere look, reaching his hands up to place them on Hayato's shoulders.

"Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you, Hayato, not more than there might be wrong with any average person."
Maybe he had a lot of problems... Maybe he was difficult to deal with. Maybe he could be scary, maybe he was different. But that didn't mean anything.
Not to Ryuutaro and that meant Hayato should believe him.

"There is nothing wrong with you, it's him who's wrong, wrong in so many ways."

Ryuutaro had an idea that Hayato couldn't believe that and it was unsettling. But he had to try, because this was how he honestly saw Hayato and this situation.

Hayato just shakes his head. Ryuutaro was wrong. It wasn't something he would usually do, just openly deny Ryuutaro of being right, but he didn't know. Parents and family were the one thing they could never see eye-to-eye on, because Ryuutaro didn't know what it was like to be tossed aside over and over for being who he was. He didn't know what his life on the streets was like. He didn't know what it was like knowing that if he died there would be no one to remember his name or mourn his death. Knowing that no matter how bad things got, or how hard it was to get by, there was no one to help him.

"If there wasn't something wrong with me then I wouldn't have been on the streets as long as I was."

Was it his heritage? Because he was a bastard? Because he played the piano? His temper? There were so many things he could think of, he just didn't understand what made him so bad that he wasn't worth anyone's effort. All he ever had in his life so far was the Vongola, Temari, and Ryuutaro. Briefly he would see his mother but he never told her anything. She might abandon him too.

Hayato just leans forward so that his head rests on Ryuutaro's shoulder, his hands wrapped around his middle. It wasn't because his stomach hurt, but rather he felt if he didn't he would just crumble and fall apart. He refused to do that now. He couldn't let his father win...

Ryuutaro shook his head slowly, but with a lot of force behind it. He felt himself reaching the point behind anger and sadness where he was just made of determination.

"That's not true."
He spoke just as slowly, just as strongly. Actually Ryuutaro had no idea where he took all this from, because seeing Hayato like this made him feel like breaking down as well. But right now that was not even an option.

"That's just not true. I rather believe in the entire world being wrong than accept these thoughts of yours as reality."
He meant every word of it. All the people of Italy, everyone... Their opinions meant literally nothing to him. Even if he could imagine what Hayato had to have been like back then, he refused to think that he would've hated him. Surely, that would've been the realistic option, but it wasn't as easy as that. This was fate.
Maybe all the cruel things they had gone to were fate as well, but that was worthless in comparison.
Hayato belonged with Ryuutaro and as it was now, Ryuutaro believed in him.

Hayato leaned forward a bit more, and moved his hands to Ryuutaro's Yukata clutching the fabric of his clothes tightly.

"Thanks."

It's clear that while he himself did not believe the sentiment, that it meant a lot to hear him say it. It took him a few minutes to get himself together before he finally pulls back. His expression is solemn and maybe a bit numb. He needed to fall back a bit to how he used to be for this. He needed to separate himself from his emotions a bit more and hide behind a wall of anger. It would be difficult with Ryuutaro with him, it was a side of himself he had never let the other see. Hopefully it wouldn't be too bad. It wouldn't be long. Just long enough for him to deal with his father.

"Let's just... get this over with."

Ryuutaro found that to be a very fitting choice of words. And the sooner they got over with it, the better it would be. Ryuutaro couldn't wait until they were out of here. Seeing Hayato like this was just way too hard to stand, especially related to the one topic they could not ever understand each other's point of view on.

He nodded. "Sounds like the best plan."

Hayato took Ryuutaro's hand and led him through the halls to his dad's office. Though much to his chagrin they are interrupted as a few vaguely familiar pair of thugs leaving from his father's office catch sight of Hayato. There's a moment of whispering before they make an effort or standing in front of the pair, smirking as they take in the sight of the silverette.

Hayato grits his teeth and separates his hand from Ryuutaro's, placing it on his shoulder to gently push him a few steps back. This was exactly what he was afraid of, people recognizing him. While he didn't remember who they were specifically, he could tell they were rather low on the totem pole mafia-wise... and that he had probably beat the everliving shit out of them before. Hopefully he could get around this pretty quick...

"Well, well, lookit what we got here. the little oriental half-breed."

The other man snickered at the comment, "I thought the cunt-eyed-Italian was dead."

He twitched a bit at the nickname... been a while since he had heard that. Now he remembered why he hated this place. He simply growled a bit at the men."Fuck off, I don't have time for you shit-heads."

Unfortunately they didn't seem willing to relent, instead turned their attention to Ryuutaro, "Oh look, you got yourself a little chink bitch too, just like your daddy."

And Hayato went rigid, his cheeks red from anger, and his hands balled up into fists so tightly his knuckles were turning white. But he didn't say anything. He didn't want to drag this out. He just wanted to leave, but they continued. One reached forward and pulled the corners of Hayato's eyes back, obviously making fun of his Asian heritage.

"But if you want to match you gotta make your eyes look more like this!"

The teen was quick to push the guy off him, sending him into the opposing wall hard. The other man grabbed Hayato by his shirt collar and nearly lifted him off his feet.

"Oi, you still want to try that shit with us, you little punk!?"

Hayato's expression didn't show any fear. Rather, it looked hardened. His eyes seemed to glaze over, his jaw set and stern. Looks like slipping back into his street mindset would be easier than he thought it would.

"Try that shit. I dare you. If I could beatthe shit out of you when I was twelve, think what I could do to you now."

Naturally, Ryuutaro didn't understand a word of what these people said, but he didn't need to. He could hear the way they talked, see their ugly faces and know everything this was about. He was disgusted.

He knew Hayato wanted him to stay out of this, but it was hard. Seeing these people talk to him, let alone touch him, was hard to stand.
They didn't understand, couldn't understand and should really learn to know their place.
Them shortly looking at him was only making his anger boil some more.

He shot the guys a glare as his hand instinctively reached for his launcher. Anything more and he wouldn't be able to hold himself back anymore, he was just so angry.

Hearing Ryuutaro moving behind him, he glanced over his shoulder. Unfortunately he also noticed the guy he threw back getting back to his feet and reaching for his own weapon in response to Ryuutaro. As much as Hayato knew Ryuutaro's bey was useful, when it came to speed it would take far less time for this guy too land a bullet in the boy he loved than it would to get his bey going. So still keeping his cool he addressed Ryuutaro briefly.

"Hey, I told you I got this, alright?"

Bringing his attention back to the man holding him up, he slowly raised his hands the grab onto his wrist and start to squeeze... hard.

"I'll break your wrists."

The man tried to withstand the pain for a while, but it didn't take long before he pushed Hayato back and away, rubbing the newly forming dark bruises on his wrists. Hayato stumbled back, but didn't drop his guard, instead situating himself between Ryuutaro and the two men, glaring at them.

The man looked up from his wrists and glared at Hayato for a moment before just spitting on the boy's face.

"You're not even worth the effort of pulling a trigger."

And they started to walk off, done with their 'fun' for the day

The teen simply glared after them as he brought up his hand to wipe the saliva from his cheek.

Ryuutaro was practically shaking with anger as he walked up next to Hayato. He had rarely felt such a desire to hurt somebody before.
"Assholes...", he muttered under his breath and that alone was amazing enough. Ever since he and Hayato had met this was the first time he'd gotten vulgar. Usually his speech patterns were proper, even over-proper and oldfashioned, after all.

However, there was not much time left for anybody to be shocked over that as Ryuutaro spotted another figure down the hall.
It seems like the scene had been watched. Ryuutaro's eyes widened as he made out who the other person was. It seemed impossible enough.
At least it was safe to say that Nobuhiro Fukami had also yet to get over the shock of suddenly seeing his son in this of all places.

Well if there was anything to briefly shake him from his street mindset, it was that. With his clean hand he strokes Ryuutaro's cheek with a crooked smile.

"Ryuutaro, it's fine. It's how I grew up... I'm used to it."

Hayato was a bit taken aback by his boyfriend's shocked expression though. He followed his gaze to... oh god... of all the people he was so not up to seeing. He cringed and looked away from Nobuhiro... this... could not possibly get any worse... it was like he was being made to pay for being so happy with his boyfriend and actually going all the way with him. If that was the case we didn't regret nothing, but for once in his life he'd like to just have a really good day like that and not have to deal with a boatload of shit after.

Edited 2012-02-05 00:10 (UTC)

Ryuutaro did not think it justified a single thing. Not even in starting to. It was not fine, not even close to it and if it hadn't been for suddenly seeing his father Ryuutaro would probably have said a lot more about the matter.
But continuing the discussion with his father -could it really be him?-in front of them was probably a bad idea.
Ryuutaro stared some more. His father. In Italy. Of Hayato's world. It made no sense. What was the Author even thinking? What had they done to deserve this?

For a moment he was tempted to take Hayato's hand and just start running to god-knows-where, away from their families, the bullies, this place, everything.
His sanity told him to stay though, leaving his feed glued to the ground. They would not make it anywhere and when they'd be stopped they'd just look ridiculous.
It had still been a nice thought so.

Nobuhiro took a step forward, just as shocked by seeing his son in a country that wasn't even Japan. How did he get here? Did this idiot of boyfriend take him here, to a mafia house of all things?!
"What are you doing here?", he asked them firmly, concealing all confusion and anger perfectly well now.

Gokudera took a long, deep breath. Either this guy got sucked into the Author's little game at a fan-friggin'-tastic time, or the Author was just having fun playing god. Regardless, looks like he had some explaining to do.

"This is my father's house. I was 'requested' to be here." Disdain laced his words, but (for once) it wasn't directed at Nobuhiro and rather his own father. Clearly he was about as fond of the idea of being here as he was contracting the plague, "What about you?"

He had his suspicions that maybe Nobuhiro had tried to do a background check oh him and try to come up with a full blown argument as so why he was not allowed to date Ryuutaro... but he would give the guy a chance to tell his piece at least.

Well, Nobuhiro had gathered that much, but the thought of actually encountering Hayato at this place had seemed a really unlikely one up to know.
"Business."
He wasn't willing to give any more answer. It should be obvious enough, one man involved in organized crime and another ones house.
Nobuhiro's look turned even more sour a moment after though.
"Who allowed you to bring my son to such a place though?!"

Ryuutaro couldn't help but roll his eyes. He was spectacularly annoyed right now which was rare enough for him.
"Bring? Oh and I thought I had chosen to be alongside my boyfriend on my own."
He didn't even pay attention to sounding sweet or nice, the irony came out undisguised.

Hayato was far from his best as well. Dealing with his father had him on edge, and discovering that he was hated enough to remove every bit of evidence that he even existed in the house still weighed heavily on his shoulders. And now he had to deal with someone else's father that would gladly see him wiped off the planet. Part of him fell back into wondering what was wrong with him to make everyone hate him so much, while the other part just wanted to hit the nearest thing that made him angry and just forsake even trying in the future.

Unfortunately punching Nobuhiro was out of the question, but that didn't mean he was getting off easy on this. Hayato was at his limit, and he was damn tired of taking shit from everyone around him. He stepped forward

"Alright now you listen the fuck up- I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a rusty spoon then have to deal with the scumbag sitting in the other room. And I'm sure that he is going to elaborately tell me what a worthless screw-up I am far better than you will, so if you could just lay off me for one friggin' day I would appreciate it. Now excuse me a minute while I go wash the spit off my face from the last group who wanted to remind me that I'm a 'cunt-eyed Italian'."

And before he could even try to break off from Nobuhiro, the familiar sound of Hayato's father's voice rang from a few doors down speaking in his wobbly Japanese.

"Hayato. I trusted you to wander the house and be competent enough not to make yourself known to the house guests. You know it would be bad for business if news got out that you were back here." He turned to Nobuhiro obviously oblivious to the previous conversation, "I apologize on his behalf. If you will allow me a few minutes to deal with him and get this ordeal out of the way we can get to discussing business."

Ryuutaro couldn't remember ever having felt this miserable, angry and helpless. His fight with Daidouji had been close, but that had been another thing and it seemed so far away from everything that was happening now and here. It was merely a blurry memory.
Ryuutaro didn't know what to do and it was upsetting him. This feeling of helplessness was still unusual to him, even if it had become more common lately.

As Hayato's father appeared, both Ryuutaro and Nobuhiro turned to look at him.
Maybe it was better that he appeared before Nobuhiro had a chance to reply. The yakuza leader passed a slow nod in Hayato's father's direction.
"Take your time with this, it seems necessary."

And that was Ryuutaro letting out a huff and giving his father the most poisonous of glares.

Hayato's father turned and opened the door to his office to let Hayato in, but the teen planned to take his time. It was something he knew he needed to get over and done with, but he needed to prepare himself a bit. He turned to Ryuutaro with a weak, worried smile, and raised a hand to cup his cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb. As helpless as Ryuutaro felt, Hayato knew he would just need him present or nearby to find the strength to get through this.

He leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead, then turned to his father his expression hardening and he stepped into the office. His father held the door open for a moment wondering if, what he still assumed was a girl would be accompanying Hayato.

Ryuutaro thought about it quickly. Following inside would probably be horrible, but Hayato needed him right there and the other option was staying out here with his own father... So the decision was fairly simple.

He quietly just slipped inside together with Hayato, anxiously awaiting whatever conversation would follow now.

Hayato's father let the door close and walked in front of the boys beckoning to a set of chairs they could take a seat on, Hayato of course refuses to budge from his spot. He wasn't about to make himself comfortable in this shit-hole. Naturally, Hayato's father is the first to speak up- at least attempting to be inclusive to the young stranger he does so in Japanese.

"So, Hayato, are you planning to introduce me to your little friend?"

"No."

"How about what you have been up to? I heard you went to Japan. What reason could you possibly have to go there?"

"None of your damn business."

"Alright then, why are you here?"

"I used to live here, what other reason to I fucking need?"

The man was obviously starting to lose patience with his boy, as Hayato had clearly already lost it with him. Hoping the 'girl' would be more forthcoming with information he turned to Ryuutaro.

"How about you then? Do you have a name? Or has my boy here forbidden you from speaking to me?" He took a step closer to Ryuutaro, noticing the hickey on his neck. "It certainly seems that you two have been rather busy, haven't you?"

Without any real warning he grabs Ryuutaro's Yukata and pulls it open to get a better look at the mark, he didn't seem to care much about his child's sexual escapades judging by the bored tone, but then his eyes widen when he notices how flat Ryuutaro's chest is.

"You're a boy..." He whips his head to Hayato, his tone raised and his face taking on a harsh scowl, "Explain this immediately!"

Ryuutaro jerked back the exact second the hands made contact with his clothes, but it was too late already. As if he hadn't been irritated enough by every single of this man's words, this gave the final push for him to move several steps backwards, just disgusted to be in his presence as all.
And this was it. Now they were in trouble it seemed. Ryuutaro was a tiny bit scared, but more than anything he was growing angry. Ryuutaro was sick of being play-ball to adults in whatever opinions they had and whatever they wanted to do. This man had no right to comment on anything in Hayato's life, he was far beyond his grasp, as Ryuutaro thought.

He smiled a bit, but his eyes just short a glare. "I never claimed to be a girl, did I?"
... and he was still oblivious to why people mistook him for one...
"My name is Ryuutaro Fukami and I can talk to you just fine."
Whether he wanted to or not was up to him though.

Gokudera's first reaction was to get himself physically between Ryuutaro and his father, his next step was to get Ryuutaro somewhere safe... because he knew this wasn't going to end well for someone. If that wasn't made more apparent by the older man reaching for something in his suit jacket. Hayato pulled out his own weapons and looked over his shoulder at Ryuutaro.

"Ryuutaro, go outside with your dad. I'll take care of this."

Ryuutaro hesitated. Just leaving like this didn't sit well with him. He felt useless, he was worried for Hayato to stay in here alone... But from the vibes Hayato was radiating he got that staying inside here was also a bad idea.
He gave Hayato a firm look before slowly drifting out the door.

His father opened his mouth as soon as Ryuutaro appeared outside.

"Not a word...", he said rather darkly, but then added a smile, "please."
It was obvious that Ryuutaro would not open his mouth again until this situation was resolved.

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This took me way too long.

it had feelings in it~

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