andsuddenlydynamite | (no subject)

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After a long ass day showing Ryuutaro around the places he knew in Italy, Hayato and his boyfriend retired to the hotel the Author has shipped them together in. It was pretty nice, and at least Hayato didn't have to pay... granted he had already picked enough pockets to keep them held over for a week.

While Hayato had grown up hating his home... being in the familiar climate and speaking his native language again was a rare comfort after spending lord knows how many years they've been stuck at the manor. And to be able to show Ryuutaro the more charming aspects of his homeland. Though it had been a long day, they had been on their feet and were getting ready to crash, but the sights and sounds of Italy had drawn the boy to the window. He had opened it and was leaning out of it, letting the wind blow through his hair. His shirt was discarded due to the temperature, his necklace beat against his chest as the warm night air blew it. He's got a great big smile across his face looking at the lights over the Italian city.

"Damn.... it been a real long time..."

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Gokudera just stared at Ryuutaro as he spoke, taking in every word. He always believed what Ryuutaro told him, he never saw the lies at all. In his mind Ryuutaro was flawless. Held on to every word, finally begging to calm down a little bit.

"Y-you don't... y-you don't have to... I'm happy i-if you just... just k-keep holding me... a-and saying you l-love me..."

After all, that always seemed to ease the pain for a little while. He couldn't believe that the pain would ever go away... but he liked just being able to pretend it wasn't there for a time.

"I'm not blind... It's obvious that this isn't enough..."

What he was doing wasn't enough, still wasn't enough. It hurt to admit it, almost physically so. But still, it was a necessary pain. Ryuutaro needed to feel it so that then he could learn to be stronger, so that he could push himself to points where it would be.
It was the most important lesson Hayato might have taught him. It wasn't enough. He wasn't good enough yet. Even if before Ryuutaro had always kept struggling to get stronger, he had relied on already being very good.

It had meant nothing.

Nothing at all.

He might be a wonderful person, but he wasn't at the end of his path at all. So he should take all of his weaknesses with pride and not hide... That was what he kept thinking, but it wasn't so easy. Not with what he saw, not with Hayato like that...
He wanted to protect Hayato like Hayato protected him. So why, why, why did that have to be impossible as they were now?
Being a guided beloved person, protected, served and safe... it was wonderful, but like this it was beginning to feel like the fishglass over and over again.

Ryuutaro cleared his throat a bit.

"Even if I don't have to, I want to... What kind of person would I be if I let all this happen to the person I love? That's why... That's why..."

Ah. He could feel his strong facade finally breaking down. He was just a scared boy after all, but that was something he wouldn't want to think about.
Ryuutaro bit his lip.

"... could you ... hold on just... a little longer?"

Hayato continued to stare, no longer overcome with the sobs the tears just streamed silently down his face with the exception of some sniffling and sharp inhaling from having cried so hard. His face was red and puffy and he looked exhausted and ill... but at that last remark there was a little flicker of a smile. He gave a little nod and leaned forward to press his lips gently against Ryuutaro's, then lightly nuzzled against him a bit despite his face being hot, sticky, and wet from the tears. Then, finally, he rests his head on Ryuutaro's shoulder, letting his body just fall limp against him.

"I-I'll wait... f-forever... as long as you're here l-like this..." Then there's another choked, weak sob, "I-I love you so much... please don't leave me..."

"I won't..."
Ryuutaro closed his eyes as he raised his hand to brush through Hayato's hair comfortingly.
"You are my fate... and even if that were not true... I wouldn't care...."

Admittedly he possibly would, but not as much as he once would have. And he got the suspicion he wasn't going to find out what exactly fate thought about them anyway, so what did it matter?

Gokudera relaxed from the hand gently running through his hair, snuggling a little closer. He always liked it when Ryuutaro ran his hands through his hair or just touched him in gentle. He was always so gentle.... he never hurt him. Not once...

"This feels nice...."

Ryuutaro smiled a bit. Just the little comment calmed him down a bit as well... He knew the entire next time was going to be a tough fight, possibly even a dangerous one, but right now he had succeeded in at least comforting Hayato a little bit. It felt good.

"I'm not going to stop..."
For a moment he wanted to add something like 'See? Everything is fine as long as you're with me' but then he realized again that all this had happened just because Hayato was with him... and stayed silent.

He remained like that for a while... not saying anything, just calming down and enjoying Ryuutaro's touch. The tears still fell, but now he had control of his breathing so they fell silently. Eventually he felt his eyelids grow heavy... he was just so tired...

"Mmm... Ryuutaro... I'm tired...."

"Then sleep... I'll stay right here. You are safe..."

Ryuutaro shifted so he could kiss his boyfriend's forehead. Sleep would probably be the best thing for him now, in sleeping he didn't have to think.

And Ryuutaro didn't have to think up comforting words either.

"Do you want to lay down properly again?"

He nodded, " Could you... lay down with me?"

He still wanted him close. He was afraid of losing the physical contact. He just needed reassurance that someone was with him in it's most basic form. If Ryuutaro was touching him and holding him, then he couldn't leave. It was that simple.

Ryuutaro nodded as well, smiling a bit more. "Of course."

Details like that this was his father's place, he was clothed and rather dirty and the doctor who was probably still waiting just vanished completely from Ryuutaro's mind.

Right now there was just Hayato and the wish to see him better.

Gokudera let himself be moved down to the bed, but refused to let go of his grip on Ryuutaro's sleeve, and cuddled up to his boyfriend the moment he could. He nuzzled right into the crook of his neck as he always did when he was scared, or sad, or just needed the comfort or reassurance of his boyfriend.

And while the tears still flowed, he was relaxing more, actually willing to accept the embrace of sleep without any fight.

Ryuutaro was glad once Hayato fell asleep. Now he was at peace at least...
He himself was feeling exhaustion finally making itself noticeable, but he didn't want to give in to it. Hayato was injured... If he slept now... Who could guarantee that Hayato would still be here, still be alive, when he woke up?
And they weren't safe at this place either...

So, as tired as he was from all the emotional pain, Ryuutaro fought sleep with all he had, not willing to surrender.

Hayato was quick to doze off, and when he did the tears finally came to a stop. After a few hours Shale came in, poking at the injury, cleaning it, making sure all was good. He was quiet about it and luckily Gokudera did little more the stir slightly.

And whatever happened it was doubtful Hayato would wake up again anytime before very late morning at least.

Edited 2012-04-10 01:05 (UTC)

Whenever Hayato woke up, he'd find an awake boyfriend.
Ryuutaro had actually gone through with his plan of not sleeping (which was good because he actually had the chance to send his father away with a glare as he returned home, whispering to him that night-time wasn't exactly the best moment to talk things through.)
Every time he had almost fallen asleep or dozed off for a moment, Ryuutaro had been quick to wake up again. The fear was stronger than the physical sensation of being tired. Being awake all this time didn't feel exactly good and his thoughts were spinning, but Ryuutaro was glad he managed to do so.

Hayato cracked open a dull green eye and let out a groan. Whatever Shamal had used to numb the wound had long since worn off and Hayato could really feel the ache. He was sore and groggy... but after rubbing his eyes to clear his vision and seeing Ryuutaro still there, he smiled a bit.

"G'mornin'..."

Ryuutaro forced a smile back.
"Good morning to you, too."
Even though for him it would be far exaggerated to call it a 'good' morning. He was barely keeping his eyes open anymore after all and he had a terrible headache.
But it didn't matter. Hayato was awake and alive, so Ryuutaro would have to wake up and pull himself together, too. He was growing more awake by the second at least.

"How do you feel?" Obvious worry mixed into his voice.

He let out another moan in discomfort before speaking, "Heavy.... n'sore... n'my face hurts from cryin'..."

But then there's a little sigh and he nuzzled against Ryuutaro some more his smile coming back to him, "But warm..."

And just then Shamal mossied on in, coffee in hand, since he had it made very clear to him how welcome he was here, he didn't think he would be getting a free ~~lunch~~ late breakfast out of Nobuhiro.

"And hey, lookit that, the lovebirds are up. How you feelin' sleepin' beauty?"

Gokudera's face, while still swollen and puffy from the previous day, managed to contort into a nice Shamal-worthy scowl.

"Go eat a dick." Then he paused, looking around, "Where the hell are we? This ain't you're place."

"I'll take that as 'I'm doin' great Shamal! Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to fix the big gaping hole I got in my side yesterday'! And I will respond with 'You're welcome Hayato. You just so happen to be at you're boyfriend's old man's joint and damn he's sure got a stick up his ass about us!"And of course he had to try and go an octave higher to try and mimic Hayato's voice.

"I hope you choke on your drink." While his tone was irritated, it remained just that. For all the bark he had at Shamal, there was very little bite. He had looked up to the old man for a very long time... despite obvious clashes in personality.

"You and many, many others." Going to just sip his coffee now.

As Hayato said he was warm, Ryuutaro couldn't help letting the fake smile drop to a smaller and honest one. It went back to the other smile the second Shamal entered, though.
'are up'. Hah. He'd been up all night, but it was nothing Ryuutaro wanted to say right now.
The interaction between Shamal and Hayato... Ryuutaro was pretty sure he would just not comment on it at all.
Instead he turned to Shamal.
"I hope my father has not said anything .... inappropriate?"
He smiled, but if his father said one wrong word about this he would go and hurt him.

Shamal waved his hand in front of him, dismissing Ryuutaro's worry, "Nothin' I haven't already heard from a Yakuza. He almost hides his repulsion when he speaks."

The key word there was almost. Not that Shamal could give half a crap either way. Still, he felt obliged to give the pair a good warning despite his urge to get out of there.

"You two might want to grab breakfast quick, Bianchi is on her way over."

Gokudera, even as groggy and half asleep as he was started to sputter in shock. He had no recollection of his sister's presence after he was shot.

"S-sis is coming?!"

Edited 2012-04-14 23:18 (UTC)

Well, Nobuhiro was from Kyoto. Nobody from Kyoto would voice rejection openly. 'Almost' hiding was already bad enough, but Ryuutaro didn't comment further.
At the notice of Bianchi coming he needed some determination to not roll his eyes. Great. More people. More family. He didn't want to see anybody like this.

Ryuutaro turned to Hayato and smiled forcedly. "Well, she did seem very worried about you yesterday, it makes sense that she would check on you, I suppose."
Not that he thought very highly of that, but there was not a thing Ryuutaro thought highly of right now. Families should all burn in hell.

He looked at Ryuutaro and nodded a bit. as much as he hated his sister and wished she would just stay the hell away.... but at the moment he just felt so small and vulnerable... the fact that someone was worried and wanted to see him was enough to get him to go as far as tolerating his sister's presence for the time being.

It was probably thanks to her that he and Ryuutaro got out okay... he at least owed her tolerance.

Shamal gave Hayato another look over, he still looked unwell, but after his few encounters with Nobuhiro, he was worried the man would say something that would trigger the boy into another fit like yesterday. The sooner Hayato could be moved the better.

"Hayato, do you think you can sit up on your own?"

Hayato hesitated for a moment, almost about to try, but then simply shook his head, holding onto Ryuutaro a bit tighter. Shamal only nodded in response, he hadn't figured he would be but it was worth the effort.

How childish... but it wasn't like Ryuutaro could blame Hayato for this right now. Instead he brushed his hand through Hayato's hair in an unspectacular movement, for once not wanting to make a show out of something.
He nodded towards Shamal.

"I have to admit, it does not please me, but we can stay here for a bit. Even if my father might not enjoy it, he will let us. I can make sure of it with my humble abilities in persuasion."
He smirked a bit, but it seemed tired.

The doctor gave another nod, this time at Ryuutaro, "Better your 'humble abilities of persuasion' than Bianchi's."

Hayato just relaxed and melted into the attention Ryuutaro was giving him. He didn't really want it to stop... he just maybe wanted to nod off again and get lost in this wonderful feeling.

However, a knock could be heard and both Shamal and Gokudera simultaneously cringed. Shamal stood up with a sigh, "I'll great her and try to give you two a few minutes to brace yourselves...."

Ryuutaro really had less than no desire to meet Hayato's sister again, but apparently it was not to be avoided. Families... ugh, disgusting. But she did get Hayato out there alive, he supposed he should appreciate that regardless of the blood bonds that had messed Hayato up so much.

"Will you be okay? My father's men listen to me, so..."
But he was also aware that that wouldn't be the a wise idea and he didn't seriously consider it... He was just too tired to control his mouth with only Hayato around.

Gokudera looked up at Ryuutaro and blinked a few times, rather surprised at the offer, but he smiled, albeit rather worriedly, at his boyfriend.

"Thanks but... I don't think they'd be able to do much to hold her back... when she gets her mind on somethin'..." He just shook his head and let out a sigh, "Could you help me sit up a bit on my own? It might be a bit hard trying to deal with her while I'm practically on top of you."

Though... he really didn't want to move from his cozy spot all snuggled up on his boyfriend, but the last thing he wanted was for his sister to start trying to poke at Ryuutaro...