"I'm not blind... It's obvious that this isn't enough..."

What he was doing wasn't enough, still wasn't enough. It hurt to admit it, almost physically so. But still, it was a necessary pain. Ryuutaro needed to feel it so that then he could learn to be stronger, so that he could push himself to points where it would be.
It was the most important lesson Hayato might have taught him. It wasn't enough. He wasn't good enough yet. Even if before Ryuutaro had always kept struggling to get stronger, he had relied on already being very good.

It had meant nothing.

Nothing at all.

He might be a wonderful person, but he wasn't at the end of his path at all. So he should take all of his weaknesses with pride and not hide... That was what he kept thinking, but it wasn't so easy. Not with what he saw, not with Hayato like that...
He wanted to protect Hayato like Hayato protected him. So why, why, why did that have to be impossible as they were now?
Being a guided beloved person, protected, served and safe... it was wonderful, but like this it was beginning to feel like the fishglass over and over again.

Ryuutaro cleared his throat a bit.

"Even if I don't have to, I want to... What kind of person would I be if I let all this happen to the person I love? That's why... That's why..."

Ah. He could feel his strong facade finally breaking down. He was just a scared boy after all, but that was something he wouldn't want to think about.
Ryuutaro bit his lip.

"... could you ... hold on just... a little longer?"