This hurt. Ryuutaro was in so much pain. This was all his fault, he knew Ryuutaro would have been better off with someone else. Someone safer...
"It is my fault... I wasn't strong enough. I-If I had been stronger then I could have been with you." He holds him tighter. "But I did it... j-just a few more days here then we can go home... So please..."
And then there's a sniff as Hayato tries to fight back tears in his eyes. Seeing Ryuutaro so weak like this scared him. If he couldn't fall back on Ryuutaro for support... then... he had to do what he did before. He had to hold it all inside. No one could know he was scared, that he was weak... not even Ryuutaro. He at least owed it to Ryuutaro to try and support him, for all the times his boyfriend had supported him. In an instant he forces himself to look happy and cheery, forcing the tears away. This was how he was with everyone else, he would put up this barrier again, for Ryuutaro. He didn't need to deal with Hayato's stressors too.
"We attack in two more days. Then everything will go back to the way it's supposed to be, and we'll go home." He tilts Ryuutaro's face up to him, smiling at him hoping it would be enough to ma, "We've been through worse than this! We can do it!"
and he intertwines his fingers in Ryuutaro's, "We're stronger than this!" And he swallows a lump forming in his throat, but still fights to keep that damn smile on his face, "A-and if you really wanted..... I'm sure we could find a way to take you home.... if that would make you happier..."
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"It is my fault... I wasn't strong enough. I-If I had been stronger then I could have been with you." He holds him tighter. "But I did it... j-just a few more days here then we can go home... So please..."
And then there's a sniff as Hayato tries to fight back tears in his eyes. Seeing Ryuutaro so weak like this scared him. If he couldn't fall back on Ryuutaro for support... then... he had to do what he did before. He had to hold it all inside. No one could know he was scared, that he was weak... not even Ryuutaro. He at least owed it to Ryuutaro to try and support him, for all the times his boyfriend had supported him. In an instant he forces himself to look happy and cheery, forcing the tears away. This was how he was with everyone else, he would put up this barrier again, for Ryuutaro. He didn't need to deal with Hayato's stressors too.
"We attack in two more days. Then everything will go back to the way it's supposed to be, and we'll go home." He tilts Ryuutaro's face up to him, smiling at him hoping it would be enough to ma, "We've been through worse than this! We can do it!"
and he intertwines his fingers in Ryuutaro's, "We're stronger than this!" And he swallows a lump forming in his throat, but still fights to keep that damn smile on his face, "A-and if you really wanted..... I'm sure we could find a way to take you home.... if that would make you happier..."